Closer To The Edge
by Miss Peg
Summary: Post-season 5 episode 12. Maura's angry at Jane's actions and she's finally not afraid to tell Jane why.


**A/N: This is the first time I've written Rizzoli &amp; Isles, I'd only watched one episode years ago up until a couple of weeks ago, so I just binge-watched the whole show and it stole my heart in so many ways. Though I've been vaguely aware of it for some time, thanks to MissToastie. I hope this is fitting for a Rizzles fic and I hope you like it.**

* * *

"What were you thinking?" Maura said, closing the door to her house and hitting Jane on the arm before she could step away from her side.

"Ow. Maura." Jane retreated slightly, her brow creased.

She didn't approve of physical violence under most circumstances, but sometimes Jane infuriated her so much that she just couldn't help it. "You could have died."

"I saved his life," Jane said. "People are calling me a hero."

"You can't be a hero if you're dead." Maura wanted to call her a hero too, she'd saved enough lives to be considered as such, but she just couldn't get over what had happened the night before that quickly.

"Don't be so melodramatic." Jane walked across the room towards the couch. "I'm fine. He's fine. Everybody's fine."

"I'm not."

Jane turned, shaking her head briefly in protest and went to sit down on the couch. "Maura, don't be like that."

"Like what, Jane?" she asked, following her across the room. "You could have died."

"So you keep saying."

xxx

_Maura stood on the bridge, her throat raw from shouting and her knuckles sore with clutching the barrier tightly as she looked into the waters below. The longer she stared at the disrupted white wash the more her heart ached for Jane. Tears stung her eyes making her vision somewhat impaired. The water below was a deep shade of green. The harder she stared, searching for Jane, the more its true colours showed themselves. At ten years old most children still drew water as a bright, crisp blue. Maura already knew the truth and, instead, opted for various shades of greens, browns and greys. She'd been marked down by her class teacher, then hauled in front of the Principal for daring to correct her._

_"Jane," she whispered, losing hope as the seconds passed by. She looked at her watch, then back at the water. Any longer and the risk of serious injury, or death, would be high. When Jane's head broke the water, Maura felt her legs moving. She walked away from the bridge, back to the car. She reached for the ignition, but the keys weren't there. She climbed out of the vehicle and ran to Paul's car, but it was locked._

_"Jane," she cried out, holding onto the roof of the car to support herself as she felt a great rush of devastation hit her. Treading water could only keep a person going for so long in freezing cold waters. She ran back to the edge of the bridge. She searched the water again, hoping the emergency services would arrive soon. Her instincts never failed her when it came to calling for help. now she felt useless. She'd taken her eyes off of Jane for just a moment and couldn't see her anywhere. Nor could she get from the bridge down to the shoreline because Jane had jumped into the water with her car keys in her pocket and it'd take too long to walk. _

_Maura continued to search the water, only stopping when she caught sight of Jane pulling Paul along the shoreline towards a slipway further along the river. Relief settled in only momentarily. Jane pulled Paul up the concrete slipway and out of the water, barely taking two steps before her knees appeared to give way and she lay motionless on the ground._

xxx

The incident had left Maura feeling anything but okay. Her emotions were right on the edge and she didn't think she could hang on to them for much longer. Particularly not if Jane continued to argue with her. Her brain jumped back and forth between various facts that she could use to fight her corner.

"Over 1200 people died jumping from the Golden Gate Bridge, 230 from the George Washington Memor…"

Jane interrupted her. "I didn't try to kill myself, Maura."

"Really? You climbed over the side of the bridge, then jumped off."

"Saving a man's life." She could see that Jane was equally frustrated, though didn't understand why. She'd done something reckless and yet again, expected Maura to be okay with that.

"Over 500 people jumped from the Clifton Suspension Bridge," Maura said, finding some comfort in the things she knew about.

"Where the hell is the Clifton Suspension Bridge?"

"The United Kingdom." Maura paused. "But that is not the point."

"Just stop, Maura, I'm fine, I didn't die. End of story."

Jane lay down on the couch, propping her head up with a pillow and waited. Maura couldn't see her, but she knew her well enough to understand that Jane knew their conversation was not over. She walked across the room, her heels tapping along the floor with urgency. She'd watched Jane put her life at risk too many times. She couldn't pass it off as part of the job any longer.

"It's not the end of the story. I had to stand there on that bridge on my own waiting for the EMTs to arrive. They pulled you out of a freezing cold river and administered CPR until you were able to breath on your own."

"I pulled myself out of the water," said Jane. "And it was hardly CPR, I just swallowed a little water."

xxx

_The red flashing lights on the bridge were distracting to the point of making Maura believe the emergency services had arrived on more than one occasion. When they finally did arrive, after a second call from Maura, she shouted as loudly as she could, despite her already strained throat, until they found Jane and Paul on the slipway._

_"I'm, I'm coming," Maura shouted, rushing back from the edge of the bridge now that she knew Jane was being taken care of. She ran towards the road and flagged down a cab. She was unfamiliar with the streets around that side of the river and no matter how brave she could have been, she didn't much care for running around an industrial site at night._

_The journey only took a couple of minutes and she tipped the driver closer to a thousand per cent, something she would never regret when she found Jane sitting in the back of the ambulance with an oxygen mask around her face. She wrapped her arms tightly around her shoulders, despite the river water soaking her arms, whilst the EMT went through the steps of Jane's revival._

xxx

Reliving the day before was just too hard. Maura's eyes stung with tears. She tried to brush them away but they kept on coming until she gave in and allowed them to fall.

"I had to explain to your mother that you were in the hospital, again. I had to sit by your bedside, again. The story is not over because you said it is. It's never over. Life isn't a story."

"Maura, please," said Jane, sitting up. Maura shook her head. "Do you want me to go home?"

"The doctors said you need someone with you for the next twenty-four hours," Maura replied, her eyes still red and blotchy as the tears continued to fall. "You're lucky they didn't keep you in for longer."

"So let my mom take over."

"You'd hate that."

"Yeah, I would," said Jane, smiling.

"I should," said Maura, softened a little by Jane's expression. She sat down beside her and wiped her eyes again, the tears began to dissipate.

"I really am fine, Maura," said Jane, resting a hand on Maura's thigh. "I'm tough as old boots."

Maura frowned. "I've never understood that saying. Old items of footwear wear at various places and even leather is known to split."

"I didn't mean literally."

"I know, but if you're as tough as old boots, then you won't be as tough as you once were."

Jane tilted her head to the side and rolled her eyes. Maura stared back at her. She didn't like it when Jane mocked her, especially when they were having such a serious conversation.

"I love you, Maura," she said. "But please stop."

"I won't stop until you apologise for throwing yourself off a bridge," Maura replied, standing her ground.

"Don't go back to that again."

"Why shouldn't I? You hurt my feelings and I can't get over that easily."

"I hurt your feelings."

"Yes."

"How many times do I have to say that I saved a man's life before you will accept that I did the right thing?"

Maura didn't even need to work it out. "The number would be infinite."

"You are so infuriating sometimes," said Jane.

"I'm not the only one."

"Maura."

"Jane."

"Stop looking at me like that," said Jane, her voice breaking a little.

"Like what?"

"Like you want to kill me."

"There have been quite enough suicide attempts in the last twenty-four hours," said Maura. "We don't need attempted murder too."

"I didn't try to kill myself."

"You threw…" Maura paused and allowed her breathing to slow. "We appear to be going round in circles. I need you to stop saving people's lives."

"You want me to quit my job?"

"No. I want you to stop putting yourself in unnecessary danger for other people."

"Maura, I love you, I do. But you need to stop talking. We're friends, this is my job."

"I think we stopped being friends a long time ago."

"What?"

xxx

_When they arrived at the hospital, Jane fell asleep very quickly leaving Maura alone with her thoughts. Sometimes she hated her own company and never more so than when she was sat beside Jane's hospital bed. She held onto her hand, not wanting anything to stand between them. She couldn't let anything happen to Jane, and if that meant holding onto her hand for the rest of her life, than that was what she wanted to do._

_"I can't do this anymore," she said, closing her eyes and lowering her head against Jane's arm. She allowed a few tears to fall, the adrenaline surge from the incident had helped her to cope with what happened. Now it was all over and Jane was fine, the after effects were harrowing. Her hands shook and she felt a weakness that could only be attributed to falling blood sugar. Eventually she would have to go and find a candy bar to help her body recover._

_For now she needed to stay with Jane._

xxx

"Many friendships are fleeting and caused by opportunity over personal preference," Maura explained. "If either one of us changed jobs, the likelihood of our relationship breaking down is statistically higher than if it remaining as it is now. I wouldn't want that to happen because you are very important to me. If there were such a thing as a soul mate, you would be mine."

"Get to the point, Maura."

"The thought of you dying provokes a very strong reaction that I really don't like. When I think about you I am overcome by a sense of stability. When you leave I wish you'd come back. When you talk I find myself staring at you, fascinating by the tone of your voice. If you asked me to, I'd sell all of my shoes and marry you on a football field wearing a Red Sox jersey."

Jane frowned, her brow creasing in an expression that Maura struggled to determine. She waited for a moment, allowing her words to sink in.

"Red Sox are baseball, Maura," Jane said, which wasn't exactly the direction Maura expected the conversation to take.

"So?" she asked, unsure of how to better respond to Jane's statement of fact. She wondered if that was how Jane felt whenever Maura opened her mouth.

"Never mind. Did you just say you'd get rid of all your shoes and marry me?"

"If you asked."

"I don't know which of those I should be the most shocked about."

"I _am_ known for my love of shoes."

"Yeah. You are."

The conversation was veering dangerously off course. If Maura wanted to push forward with her revelation - which she did - then she would have to say something to make Jane stop talking about baseball and shoes and start responding to her feelings.

"I'm in love with you, Jane. I've not felt this way about anyone in a long time," she said. "Probably since my college girlfriend."

Jane's eyes opened a little wider and she blinked quickly. "You had a college girlfriend? Why didn't I know about that?"

"I don't talk about her." Maura sighed, realising she'd accidentally opened another can of off-topic worms. "She broke my heart."

"Why didn't you tell me?" The tone of Jane's voice suggested mere annoyance, maybe a hint of jealousy, if Maura was not mistaken. It didn't suggest the usual frustration of a friend being kept out of the loop. Then again, Maura had only done one rotation in behavioural neuroscience. She wasn't entirely sure she could trust her own judgement on the matter.

"I didn't see a necessary need," Maura said, deciding to stick to the facts. "Lucy is part of my past."

"Not about your college girlfriend," said Jane. She paused then, the air stagnant and a little stifling. Maura had put herself out there, she'd potentially ruined the biggest part of her life. "About how you feel about me."

"I didn't want to have the conversation that would lead to the end of our friendship."

"You thought this would end our friendship?"

"When you consider the fact that just four point four per cent of people in Massachusetts are considered to be something other than straight. Remove those who are male, then the chance of you reciprocating my feelings is very small."

Jane lifted a hand to Maura's cheek, her fingers tracing slowly across the edge of her face as she closed the gap between them and placed her lips carefully upon Maura's. The feel of skin on skin sent a feeling of exhilaration throughout Maura's body and she sunk into Jane's embrace.

"What just happened?" she asked, pulling away for a second. Jane smiled and captured her lips again, kissing her quickly and with as much passion as Maura could feel spreading to all of her extremities. The hurried moment seemed to go on for an eternity and when Jane finally let go, Maura's heart raced inside her chest.

"Why didn't _you_ tell _me_?" Maura asked.

"I never thought I'd be with a woman," said Jane, taking Maura's fingers in between her hands. "I tried to pretend that what I felt wasn't what I thought it was."

"What are you saying Jane?"

"I love you too, Maura, I think I always have."

The corners of Maura's lips moved, almost involuntary, upwards until her face ached with what felt like the perfect grin. She liked to smile, and laugh, and tried to do it as frequently as she could. But no genuine smile felt as unadulterated as that one. She leant forwards, closing the gap that already felt too wide, and placed a chaste kiss on Jane's lips. Then she kissed her again, and again, their mouths moving together like a factory assembly line - in perfect working harmony.

Breathing was something she thought little about. Instead Maura slid her fingers along Jane's arms, feeling the warmth of her skin beneath her fingertips, exploring the body she'd tried not to look too closely at over the years for fear of being caught. She moved her kisses along Jane's cheek, down her clavicle and across her scapula, pushing aside the material of Jane's shirt.

"Maura!" The voice came from outside.

She jumped backwards, her eyes finding Jane's with a sense of urgency. Angela had a way of timing things perfectly wrong, like she had a camera on the situation and knew when to jump in to stop something.

"Shit," said Jane, standing up quickly and rushing across the room as though being in the same place was something they shouldn't do.

"Act normal," said Maura, though she didn't know how she'd ever be able to lie to Jane's mother.

"Me act normal?" Jane laughed. "I'm going to go upstairs, you, get rid of my mother."

Jane disappeared up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Maura watched her leave and when the door closed behind Angela, Maura nearly jumped right out of her own skin.

"I tried calling Jane but she won't answer, she wouldn't let me pick her up from the hospital," said Angela, as though they'd been in the middle of a conversation. Angela stopped talking, tilting her head from side to side. "Why's your lipstick smudged?"

"Erm," said Maura, glancing towards the staircase and back at Angela, her cheeks reddening as her fingers went involuntarily to her lips. She was almost certain that she had just given the game away.

"Oh," Angela whispered, winking at Maura and shouting. "Take good care of our Maura, Jack."

They waited a moment, the silence palpable. Maura hoped that Jane wouldn't attempt to impersonate Jack, least not because she didn't expect Angela to see through that one. She wasn't the most educated person, but that didn't mean she was stupid.

"Upstairs," said Maura, pointing towards the staircase and trying to smile. She wasn't exactly lying, she just omitted the pronoun that would potentially cause them issue.

"You go get your hot guy," said Angela, winking again. "If you hear from Jane, tell her to call me. I think she's avoiding me."

"Will do," said Maura, feeling her heart begin to slow down when Angela disappeared back out of the door.

She didn't move from her spot between the kitchen and living area. Her legs refrained from working and her heart continued to beat at a pace quicker than its resting state. Maura heard Jane's footsteps before she saw her.

"Hi," she said, smiling again.

"What about Jack?" Jane asked, frowning a little.

"I called him last night when they sent me home from the hospital," Maura said. "I told him I couldn't see him anymore."

Jane's smile emulated Maura's earlier one, which made her smile again, and before she could say or do anything, Jane had pulled her back into her arms, pushing her semi-roughly against the kitchen counter.

Maura allowed a moan to escape her lips. "Oh."

"You heard my mother, come get your hot guy," said Jane, walking backwards, her hands pressed firmly against Maura's back, pulling her across the room towards the stairs.

"You should call your mother," Maura said, remembering Angela's last request.

"Later," said Jane, interlinking her fingers with Maura's and tugging her up the stairs. She'd waited a long time for this moment, she'd passed on Angela's message, the rest was up to Jane. And if Jane wanted to go upstairs before calling her mother, who was she to protest?

* * *

**A/N: Thank you for reading, I hope you've enjoyed it! Comments are welcomed, though smiles are just as important.**


End file.
